July 31, 2011

Why Won't You Support Your Kids???

How can you stand to look at yourself in the mirror everyday?

You know that somewhere in this world you have 4 young children that you should be supporting,  but you DON'T.

How do you live with yourself?
Oh, I forgot. Your brain isn't wired like mine.
You have NO conscience.

I hope you don't still have conversations with people in which you are trying to enlighten them. All your talk of knowledge, wisdom, understanding and truth, when you yourself have and live and breathe lies, makes you a fraud.

I hope you aren't still wasting money on bootleg Farrakhan DVDs that talk about the black family, when you have abandoned your black children. I think you just get a kick out of saying, "Respect," to the guys on 125th street that you buy them from. You were so proud to have once had your picture taken with Minister Farrakhan. The truth is, he'd probably throw up, if he knew the kind of person you really are.

You don't deserve one ounce of respect from anyone. You have a princess and 3 sons and they have -0- fathers. They have no one to teach them how to be a man because you don't even amount to 1/2 of a man.
There are men working two and three jobs to take care of their children. There are dudes out there hustling and slinging, to make sure they provide for their kids. Some end up doing time for it. They deserve respect because they were willing to do whatever it took to make sure their seeds didn't live in lack. 
That makes them more of a man than you can ever hope to be.

How do your friends even stomach your presence knowing you abused your wife for years, while preaching to them? How can they stand knowing your family had to run from you for safety?

How do they hang out with you and the 800 pound gorilla in the midst?

You are about to pay a strange white man $50 an hour to babysit you, while you visit with your kids.
You can't wait to hand their child support money over to him.

It should be against the law for you to pay someone to visit with kids you aren't supporting.  How many thousands have you paid your various attorneys, loser? I didn't have to pay mine a dime and beat you on everything. So who's the idiot again?

If you can't afford to pay your child support, how can you afford to pay anyone else???

Even Einstein can't add that one up!

Don't you think your kids need that money more than a visitation supervisor?
I guess the truth is, you don't think about it, because the truth is you don't care.

So come on down fake a$$ dad and put on another black face show for the white man and pretend that you love your kids.

Open wide so that they can see all those nasty teeth in your stinking mouth as you let out that phoney guffaw you've perfected, so they can hear it echo in Kenya.

Then when that hour or two is up, reach in your wallet and pull out the Benjamins that you have put aside for another man to support his family, while your kids go home with ears full of empty promises and pockets full of lint.

So go 'head, go on and support Mr. White's kids with $150 you should be giving to your kids. He's gonna leave your dumb ass and go take his kids to the movies and Rita's wit yo' kids' money!

Come on down, you're the next contestant on, "If I Don't Gotta Support My Kids, Then the Price is Just Right!"

July 21, 2011

Really Jeff?.....Really???

Monday, July 18th, there was supposed to be a hearing in Lehigh County Court in regards to my husband's visitation with our children. He didn't show up. Instead he called in, in spite of there being an order for all parties to appear in person.

Tuesday July 19, 2011, that good for nothing, deadbeat dad, soon to be ex-husband, called his kids for the first time since November 2009.

Because he has an order to call them.

It took a white man with a pen and pad and the power to issue a worthless order, for this negro to call his kids.

Really, Jeff? Really?

Three out of our four kids have had birthdays already pass this year. As he has done for the past three years, he didn't send a gift or a card and he didn't call them, text them, or email them.

He has no intelligent, logical reason for not calling them all this time. Now that "the man" has given him a schedule - Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday at 7pm, he was right on time.

Talk about stupid and dumb. No one ever stopped this man from calling his kids. He just stopped on his own. In the hearing on Monday, I brought up the fact that he has abandoned the kids in every way, not supporting (about $60,000 in arrears), not seeing, and not even calling them to say, "Hi or Happy Birthday." The hearing officer asked him if it were true and why hadn't he called his kids. Jeff kept saying, "Sir, sir, sir..." He had no answer.

So I guess in his mind, some magical wand has been waved now that there is an order to call

In my mind, it's retarded to need a court order to do something you claim you've been wanting to do, but haven't been doing, and the only one that stopped you from doing it was YOU, fool!

The hearing was a farce. I'll fill you in on that later. So the drongo is back in the picture for now.

July 2, 2011

I'm Okay!

July 2, 2011

I'm sorry. Based on my last post, you probably thought I was going to do something awful to myself. Didn't mean to worry or scare ya. I was just having a moment and needed to vent all my pains and frustrations.

I have these moments from time to time because the load I am bearing is NO @#$% JOKE! And you know, me being human and all. Some days I wish I could lay it all down or pass it off to someone else. Jesus says to cast our cares on Him because He cares for us. He says to take His yoke, for it is easy and light. Guess I don't know how to do that completely just yet.

Just wanted you to know all is well. My head is clear and back on straight. There's a renewed strength that has returned, which comes to replenish me when I reach the end of my rope. Work is keeping me extremely busy with days that begin when the alarm goes off at 6:00am, until we return home at 6:30pm. The kids and housework take up the rest of the day. To say I'm tired is an understatement, I'm exhausted beyond belief, but I keep it moving. The life I live is not for the weak, faint of heart or unequipped. I also believe that God gives me an anointing to get through this period of my life. When I collapse in bed around midnight and I recall my day, I'm amazed sometimes at how much I actually had to do and that I got it all done.

In a world where only the strong survive, one's level of strength and ability to endure, matter a lot. It is the difference between life and death....I'm still standing.

My personal life may be looking up too.....

I was so damaged and wounded when I left my husband 2 years ago, I had no interest in ever being in a relationship again. Even the good ones can be draining and take a lot of work and focus on someone else and their needs, idiosyncrasies, habits and quirks. I really wasn't interested in taking even a second of my time to concentrate on some grown man and what I needed to do to keep him happy. I have kids to raise and they come first.

I also truly didn't think I'd ever meet someone that could accept me and my children as a package deal and we are a large package. But it's possible I may have. I'm just not sure if he's the one that God has chosen for me. Can't make moves I'm not 100% sure of. Will not make any more mistakes in that area of my life. Still not sure if maybe I'm just supposed to grow old alone - just raise my kids by myself and devote my life to what God has called me to do....whatever that is. So, I'll just take it more than slow and see what happens. (There's nothing to tell, so don't ask!)

Anyway, I was out of my funky mood several weeks ago, I've just been too busy to write. I'm the coordinator and director of a summer camp right now, and I've never done anything like this before in my life. It's a huge undertaking.

Planning the daily activities for a K-1st grade class and a 2nd-5th grade class, including all of the trips and transportation, the files and required paperwork on each child and tracking their parents down for it. Creating & collecting permission slips, monthly calendars and weekly sign in sheets. Keeping track of the lunch & breakfast - how many were received & how many were served, not serving it one minute before or after the designated time and making sure the next meal is served exactly 3 hours later. I even have to order the milk. Having to keep track of who paid and how much....it goes on and on.

I have a staff to deal with and the different personalities that come with it. The work ethic that people have aren't always the same as ours. Dealing with haters and saboteurs can try anyone's patience. My priority is to make sure that the children are being given the summer that they should have, because this is their vacation, not ours. And all day long I hear, "Ms. Trotter....Ms. Trotter....Ms. Trotter." The kids are calling me, my staff is calling me, the office is calling me, the parents are calling me, the lunch & milk ladies are calling me." Whew! Oy Vay!

Camp is 10 weeks long and we just finished our 3rd week. The summer is zooming by and will be over before we know it. I am going to need a vacation after the kids' summer vacation.

Anyway, I just wanted to take the time to say, "Hi and I'm doing just fine!"