January 20, 2011


Don't worry about the wicked. 
Don't envy those who do wrong. For like grass, they soon fade away. Like springtime flowers, they soon wither.  

Trust in the LORD and do good. Then you will live safely in the land and prosper. Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you your heart's desires.
Commit everything you do to the LORD. Trust him, and he will help you. He will make your innocence as clear as the dawn, and the justice of your cause will shine like the noonday sun.  

Be still in the presence of the LORD, and wait patiently for him to act. Don't worry about evil people who prosper or fret about their wicked schemes. Stop your anger. Turn from your rage. Do not envy others -- it only leads to harm.  
For the wicked will be destroyed, but those who trust in the LORD will possess the land. 

In a little while, the wicked will disappear. Though you look for them, they will be gone.  
Those who are gentle and lowly will possess the land; they will live in prosperous security.  

The wicked plot against the godly; they snarl at them in defiance.  
But the Lord just laughs, for he sees their day of judgment coming.  

The wicked draw their swords and string their bows to kill the poor and the oppressed, to slaughter those who do right. But they will be stabbed through the heart with their own swords, and their bows will be broken.  (Psalm 37.1-15)

I LOVE the LORD! The more trials I face, the more I marvel at how God turns things around in my favor. The bible says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" (Romans 8.31) I stand still in awe as He wins battles so flawlessly. With each victory He gives me, I have learned to do less and believe more. I worry less and pray more. I stress less and trust more. I say less and glorify more.

GOD is SO GOOD. Words aren't good enough to truly express the goodness of God. I can't believe how much He loves me, how much He has done for me and how much He wants to do for me. I feel so small and insignificant on this planet, but to God, I matter. I am important to Him and what goes on in my life concerns Him.

I just wanted to take a moment to give God glory because of who He is and all He does. Even the things I can't see and won't ever know.

Yet again, God gave me victory over the one who has chosen by his free will, to be an instrument of the enemy, against me. Drama has two faces, comedy and tragedy. What went on in court was a comical tragedy. When my husband spoke, he made no sense whatsoever. Even the judge had to ask him several times, "What are you talking about???" He stammered and stuttered, repeated himself and went in circles.

I just shook my head, almost laughing on the inside. I made eye contact with a couple of the court personnel that were up behind the bench with the judge and we had the same look on our faces, a smirk and a silent, "This is so ridiculous," as they shook their heads too.

The judge dealt with his petition in which he accused me of violating the court order regarding his visitation first. He stated in his petition that he had, "been denied visitation completely."  (Remember, he had stopped coming to see the children 8 months ago.) The judge began looking through all the hearings and orders from 2009 trying to figure out where to begin.

I told her that I could clarify things and quickly explained that visitation was being handled in Pennsylvania through Catholic Charities and I had the paperwork to show her. She took my evidence, looked through it, then looked up at him and said, "Sir, when did you plan on telling me about this case in Pennsylvania?" His sad attempt at an explanation for misleading the court, made sense to no one but him. She cut him off and said, "There was a hearing in PA, you appeared, she appeared, there was a ruling. This case is under PA jurisdiction."

He kept going around and around in his attempt to explain to her that PA shouldn't have been involved because the final order was from NY. I can never really repeat much of what he says verbatim, because it's so Mad Hatter, it's hard to follow without a script. In any event, she basically told him that it was in PA's hands and he has to take it up, down here.


Next, his petition for a permanent order of protection, for which he was granted a temporary one on October 21, 2010. In his lie filled petition to be protected from me, he accused me of posting lies on the Internet about him (my blog) that amounted to libel, calling his business associates to slander his good name and "assassinate his character" (one of his favorite phrases), said I was homicidal, and that he was afraid of me. Go ahead, laugh! LOL!!! A man who spent a decade being violent and abusive to me, wants someone to believe he needs protection from me! Hahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!

Again, this was an easy one for the judge. She and I both understood why there was nothing wrong with my talking about my experience in my blog online or anywhere else for that matter. It's called the 1st Amendment; that bothersome part of the Constitution that irritates people who want to shut other people up and control them. I already knew that the truth is an absolute and obvious defense to both libel and slander. The judge had to inform him of that bit of reality.

He must have forgotten that our three oldest children witnessed all the abuse. He must have forgotten my oldest son, witnessed the abuse almost every time he came to visit. He must have forgotten that he told my mother he would never hit me again after she found out he fractured my rib. He must have forgotten the times I fled to my father's or sister's house with the children after an altercation. He must have forgotten that he admitted it to outsiders who I sought help from - like Rev. Clarke from Safe Horizons, an elder that we met with at Christian Cultural Center, Pastor Durso, Pastor Thomas & our marriage counselors, the Walkers, at Christ Tabernacle.

Another defense to libel is opinion. I had lived with and had known this man intimately for 11 years. Based on my direct interaction, knowledge and experience with him, I most definitely have certain opinions about his behavior and character and I'm entitled to express them.

In any event, when she reminded him of my right to free speech and to say what I want to whomever I want to say it, he asked her if she can order me to.......stop harassing him. She told him she can't order me to do anything.  She said, "If she were contacting YOU, if she were emailing YOU, if she was doing something directly to YOU, then I could deal with that." When I write or talk to others, that is not harassment toward him. As he kept trying to go on, she had to let him know that there are people in serious danger that come into that court seeking protection. People with broken bones, serious injuries and those in danger of death from the psychos in their lives. What he was doing was taking up the court's time with nonsense.


So will he go back to his workshop and cook up another scheme to bother me? Maybe. You know what they say about an idle mind. She said that if he felt he had a case then it would be a civil matter, possibly criminal, or because of the Internet, maybe even federal. But at the end of the day, I had the right to say what I wanted to say. I was thinking to myself, "Good, Lord! Why in the world is she giving this guy any ideas?" Not because I'm worried, but because I am tired of being hassled by my former batterer. Leaving was supposed to be the end of him bothering me. 

Seriously....a federal case? Why? Because I talk about what he did to me? There's no spousal privilege or gag orders here. Criminal? Really? What would the charges be? Not keeping secrets anymore?  
Civil? HAHAHA! If the defaming statements are TRUE, then there's no injury to be compensated. And how can you try and sue someone for fake damages when in reality YOU OWE THEM $40,000? That one is the funniest of them all! 
He has no grounds on which to sue me or bring any kind of charges against me. He's starting to remind me of O.J. Someone who got away with murder, but just couldn't keep himself out of a courtroom, because he couldn't be cool. They think they're so smart, when they're actually.......just human versions of Wile E. Coyote......SUPER GENIUS.

Well, he can do what he wants. I trust in the Lord and He told me not to worry about evil people or fret about their wicked schemes. He said the wicked will be destroyed and in a little while disappear. One day I'll look around and all of this will be gone. All I have to do is continue to trust in the Lord and commit my ways to Him. The wicked plot against the godly, but the Lord laughs at them, because He knows their day of reckoning is coming. Judgment is on its way. I'm living my life to make God happy and I'm raising my children to trust and love Him. So if God is laughing, I can laugh too! And after I finish laughing, I will pray some more. I'll take turns laughing and praying!

Jesus told me to love my enemies and pray for those who persecute me. So I will be obedient and continue to show him the kind of love Jesus would, by not paying him evil for evil. I will love him by continuing to walk in forgiveness toward him, keeping my heart pure before the Lord. Praying is my pleasure and free gift of love for him. I hope one day he can be loosed from the bondage that he is in. He can't possibly feel good on the inside when he's manifesting so much bad on the outside. He has to be in pain, where it comes from, only God truly knows. And as Joyce Meyer says, "Hurting people, hurt people." I feel compassion for any human being that is in pain - even the person who caused me and my children so much. 

The visitation hearing that was scheduled for January 12th down in PA was canceled due to snow. I was hoping all of them would have been over by now, but I have to wait for a new date. I trust God with every little thing that concerns our lives and believe that we shall see victory again. I will keep you posted.

Thank you to my family and friends for your continued love and prayers. I love you. God bless.