October 26, 2009

Spousal ~ Child Support Round 5

Whew! It has been a very exhausting month. The kids and I are finally starting to feel better after a month of the flu, high fevers and a sinus infection for which I am still taking antibiotics.

Getting right back to business, we have our fifth and I pray final appearance before the support magistrate this Wednesday October 28th. I won't be driving up to NY for this one; I'll be down here on the phone again. I don't even care about hearing everything. Usually it's just Jeff appearing with some nonsense that the judge yells at him for while I sit there silently.
The last time we were in court the judge told me that I could fax any information that I had for her to the number on the paperwork. I had to send a package. I had too much stuff to fax. I don't know if it will help or not, nothing can really prove how much he makes because it's under the table, but I hoped to at least show how he spends and what some of the needs and expenses are for me and the kids. If nothing else, it is my opportunity to have my say in this case that's been going on since June.

My husband had called me a few times and actually tried to convince me that I should sign some sort of support deal with him outside of this and drop this case. He tried to tell me how it would be more beneficial for both of us that way. According to him, I could get more money upfront if I dealt with him rather than waiting for the child support system to dole it out to me in pieces. And if he were to get locked up for nonpayment, then I wouldn't get anything because he would be unable to make money.

Pause and think about that for a second. After all that has happened, does he still think I'm stupid? He used to call me dumb, stupid and idiot, those were the more decent names he called me. But he must've really believed it when he said it and wasn't just saying it only to be mean, hurtful and abusive.

I didn't even need a half a second to see how ridiculous his proposal was on so many levels. Number one, he is a liar and I would never make a deal with a liar. Number two, if I made a deal with him in which he is swearing he would pay me, how is that any different from him giving the money to the support collection unit? Why would he end up in jail for not paying me if his intention is to pay me?

Number three, I'd have no recourse if he didn't pay me. Oh, but I would according to him. My recourse would be to file for the support in court all over again. Was he smoking crack? After 6 months of this, I'm supposed to drop it with only days to go, to enter into some "legal" deal with him in which we sign some papers saying he's going to pay me, and when he doesn't, I'm supposed to drive back up to NY and file for support all over again and take it from the top?

LOL!!! That was hilarious. I told him thanks, but I was fine with things the way they were and had no desire to do anything different at this point in time. I reminded him that I tried to work things out with him regarding everything back in July to no avail. He's just afraid the judge is going to put him in a work program, which would be like worse than hell for someone like him.

I don't know what God plans to do as far as this goes, but there ain't a thing I can do about it, it's all completely in His hands, just as everything else has been thus far. And I think God's been doing a pretty good job so far with all this legal crap that Jeff started. The score is Tee - 2, Jeff - 0. God knows what we need, He knows when we need it, He knows what we need it for and He knows exactly every way in which he intends to provide it. I just have to keep trusting, believing and standing.

As I said before, I'm living my life as if Jeff will never provide anything for us. That way, anything that comes is just extra. I'm believing God to lead me to the job that I should have as I search for one. It is literally like finding a needle in a haystack out here, so I absolutely need His help on this. I don't know how, I don't know why and I don't know when things will change for us. But at least I can say I know Who will change them.

Well only two days to go for the hearing now, I'll let you know what happens...