January 8, 2010

A Year Ago Today

Here I am again at the library under the 15 minute gun before my session expires. So I will be brief.

Today is an anniversary for my children and me. One year ago today we walked away from a life of abuse, violence, fear, and terror. This is our 1st Anniversary of Freedom and we will celebrate.

It may seem strange to celebrate the end of your family as you knew it, but if you knew the life we were forced to live, you'd understand that a celebration is in order. It was not an easy thing to do and I am told it took courage and strength to do it, not that I necessarily feel courageous or strong. I did what I felt I had to do at the time and I haven't looked back.

Because of the extreme hardship and difficulty the children and I endured this past year, there have been times when I asked myself, "Tee did you do the the right thing?"

After I left him, I asked him to get help to save his family, get off the drugs and be faithful while we were apart. He accused me of wanting to exercise power and control over him.
I realize I did.

I'd get another petition from court or some new information from my lawyer about what he and his lawyer were up to in his attempt to crush me.
I realize I did.

He repeatedly lied in support court so that he wouldn't have to provide for his family knowing that his children were in need. He refuses to pay the support that was ordered and has hired an attorney to have the order vacated.
I realize I did.

He lives his life with his mistress as if his wife and children never existed, and was laying up with her while our newborn laid in the intensive care unit.
I realize I did.

He denied the paternity of his own son.
I realize I did.

He violated my order or protection and traumatized his children yet again for whatever scheme he has going on now, and he laughed as his children trembled.
I realize I did.

Ironically, yesterday was the 5th anniversary of our marriage. I was with my children, working hard in the shelter as I do everyday. Working to try and dig us out of our impossible situation while my husband works to make our existence miserable. I collapsed in bed exhausted, at midnight.

I will guess and say that he was probably spending our anniversary in his girlfriend. Whatever. As I said, she is desperate and pathetic and he is a complete degenerate. They live low lives and deserve each other.

January 7th will forever mark the day that I married him...
January 8th will forever mark the day that I left him.