Daddy, You Missed My Birthday, Again.

Dear Mr. Jeff Trotter, I have an award to present to you.....drums please, (you can give me a beat on that beautiful djembe I bought you).....I would like to present you with the award for being the "World's Worst Dad!"
(wait for applause).

As it states on the award, it is in recognition of your outstanding deadbeat parenting, which includes not seeing your kids for a year, not paying child support, not calling them in 17 months, including on their birthdays, Christmas, any other significant day, just regular days, and not doing a damn thing that matters in their lives in a positive way! BRAVO!!! You were always the BEST at what you do, and you have continued to shine!

Please take a bow.

I know you couldn't care less, but on April 13th, 2011, our son, Joshua turned 5 years old. The last time you even wished him a Happy Birthday was when he turned 2. You haven't called him or either of his siblings for any of their birthdays, in 2009, 2010, and so far, 2011. Not only have you not called, you didn't send a text, email, e-card, regular card, smoke signal, Morse code, or attempted any communication of any kind. It goes without saying that they didn't get gifts from you for anything. You know what else they didn't get for their birthdays? Their child support.

But you know something funny? On April 13, 2011, on your son's birthday, you sent Verizon $250, to keep your cell phone on. How much did you pay in child support in April? Oh, right, nothing! 

You told me when I saw you in court on March 29th, that you pay your cell phone bill instead of the child support because you have to keep the line of communication open with the kids. I had to remind you that you haven't used that open line since November 2009. Oh, but I bet I know who you are  keeping that line open for, booty calls, some as far away as Moscow. Yeah, I know about your young Russian girlfriend G. You love her and are going to marry her? That's nice and fine, but you may want to be divorced first....oh, I forgot, you told her you were. But she found out the truth, your girl looked for and found me. The internet is amazing!

To my sweet, forever smiling, Joshua, I'm so so sorry that your dad is a worthless deadbeat, that would rather pay his cell phone bill, than pay your child support so that I could have given you that birthday party at Bounce U that you wanted.

Now Jeff, I know telling the truth is difficult, if not impossible, for you. I am convinced you have an anti-social personality disorder (aka: a sociopath), so it's not your fault. You can't help it. Maybe it was being abandoned by your dad or maybe it was passed down to you in his DNA. Maybe it was growing up with a mom that was cold and distant who could tell her black male child he's nothing but a N!G&ER! Maybe you were raped by one of those Catholic priests in the schools you attended and you've suppressed it. Maybe its a little bit of all of it. Maybe it's none of it. Maybe you're just broken. I don't know and you probably won't ever know either. Here's a link to a site that helped me understand what you are, maybe it can help you too.

http://LoveFraud.com

http://LoveFraud.com/01_WhatsaSociopath/Key_Symptoms_Sociopath.html

You have ALL of the symptoms listed. I know, because I have known you for 13 years and lived with you for ten.

Here's the reality, its incurable. Sadly, you will be this way the rest of your life. You are incapable of love and only have shallow emotions. You lack empathy remorse or guilt. You are pathologically deceitful and extremely manipulative. You don't care about your kids because you can't. You don't care about what you did to me or to their lives, because you can't. You will continue to lie about everything in your life and what you did and what really happened, because that is how you are wired. I feel sorry for you.

You wear those sunglasses all the time because you know you have to hide your eyes. You can't let people look into them, otherwise they might see the horror - a cold lifeless gaze like that of a snake. Your eyes would give you away, and people would see what you are. You are a very scary person. I'm grateful that I escaped with my life, because you are totally capable of murder and could have killed me one day. Then you would have lied about what happened saying you were defending yourself from abusive me and manipulated our children into supporting your version of events.

So maybe I can make a deal with you in terms that speak to you. We both know you only keep interfering in our lives because you want to bother me. It has nothing to do with love for the children. I sacrifice every single day of my life for them. Every single day, everything I do is for my children. I work my fingers to the bone, I get 4-5 hours of sleep a night, and I have no social life outside of them. You do nothing, that ain't love.

Yeah, you can go ahead and laugh and gloat about the fact that I can't go partying and traveling the world doing drugs & having sex with anybody, like you can. I can't sleep until the afternoon and then get up and smoke a blunt, until I go hanging out at night. Yeah, you got your life to yourself and you have your freedom. Because of that, you think I am jealous of you. Ha! Nothing could be further from the truth. You are doing it as an empty lost soul. You love no one and no one loves you.

You are sad, and then one day you are going to die - alone. You will have nothing to show for your life but a trail of bloody, broken, wounded hearts. You will stand before the judgment seat of God and you will have to give an account for your life on that day. I do NOT want to be you! My children and grand children and great grandchildren will be by my side until the end of my days. I won't have enough room in my home to contain all the cards, gifts and handmade love I will receive from them. My heart will be full to overflowing from the joy and love they will have filled my life with.

So here's the deal I'd like to make you. Since you don't pay your child support and don't intend to, why don't you trade me the child support for you staying out of our lives forever? I'll withdraw the child support petition, ask them to cancel the order, if you will sign away your parental rights completely and agree to never file another asinine petition again. You will be completely free to continue doing what you've been doing for the last 2+ years, not seeing, calling or supporting, your kids. I am so sick & tired of you and the drama you bring.
I want nothing from you. I just want to live in peace with my children.

Think about it Jeff. To be free of child support for the next 17 years, just sign away your rights and walk away forever! All your money to do with as you please, without arrears and consequences building up against you. $2,500 a month for the next 10 years is: $300,000!!! That can buy you a lot of weed and a lot of hookers. Instead of just sneaking off to the red light district of Amsterdam for a day or two, doing drugs and hookers, like you did while we were together, you can go live there!

They don't need a Jeff-in-the Box, fake dad, that pops in and out of their lives every couple of years with cornbread and dollar store toys.

For the first time, do one right thing in your life. You don't want to see them, talk to them, support them?  Fine. Then please go away forever. They don't need you. 

Solomon said it best, he wants a dad, but he doesn't want a dad like YOU!

Now You Owe Us: $46,175

Okay, so I went to court in Queens again on March 29, 2011. Why? Because the despicable deadbeat wants to have the child support and the arrears he owes, REDUCED! It's almost unfathomable how a person that has not complied with a court order to the level of being in CRIMINAL NON-SUPPORT, can go to that court and say, "Yeah, you know that order that I'm not complying with, I want you to change it in a way that makes me happy."

So you know from my previous posts regarding the child support saga that in 5 appearances before the magistrate, my husband was unsuccessful in convincing the support magistrate that his business was a "not for profit," business and therefore he earned little to no income from it. It was all lies and the magistrate didn't buy it and neither did the judges on the appeal board from which he tried to have the magistrate overturned.

Okay, so Jeff said to himself, "To hell with the court, to hell with the order and to hell with my kids." So he has proceeded to live his life on his terms. He ignored the order, paying what he has felt like paying, which has ranged from $1,000 to $0, which is why he now owes $46,175.

But guess what deadbeat dad does have money for? To pay his lawyer. To pay his cell phone bill, and to cover his other "recreational" habits. *Cough cough*

What's his latest strategy to get out of supporting his 4 young kids? Unemployment. He claimed to me that although his record company and booking agency are doing well by all appearances, he is no longer a part of it. 

W Record Official Website

http://wrecord.ru.com/flash.htm 

After all, who wants to be a part of something successful? Duh! Then he had the audacity to accuse me of being jealous of him right after telling me he's out of business! LOL!!! He really needs to become a comedian, because the stuff that comes out of his mouth is beyond funny! He'd make a fortune in Vegas off of his courtroom routines.

I suggested that he get a JOB. But that is a dirty word to him. He said that he would make less money if he got a job. Come again? How do you make less than NOTHING? There he goes with that fuzzy math again. 

Scenario: I make $0 now. Then I get a job, even a low paying job, making let's say, $300 a week. I would be making less than what I make now - $0, see?

Oh, I really want to be him. An abusive, violent man, that destroyed his family, has abandoned all parental responsibilities toward his children, that no decent person could possibly respect. Yeah, right, sure.

Just like all abusive people do and say the same things, so do all deadbeats. If they got a job or a business, they try and hide the money or claim they make less than they do. When that doesn't work, they will quit their jobs, or go out of business or claim they did, to avoid taking care of their kids. What the hell is up with that?  Real men will take care of their children even if they had to get 2 or 3 jobs to do it.

He was giving advice to a young man that had just had his child support hearing. While he was telling me he's out of business, I told that young man that was standing there listening, "Don't take advice from him. He owes his kids $43,000. He'll have you going to jail." He laughed.

Anyway, the case was dismissed because he told the magistrate that he didn't expect me to be there because he didn't serve me and came unprepared. He didn't bring a single piece of his homemade, fabricated, papers to court, in spite of it being his petition. Every time I step into the courthouse, I practically have my entire file cabinet with me. You just never know what you are going to need or be asked to show and prove. Plus since you don't know whether or not the other party is going to come, you just always come prepared - period. At least intelligent people do. 

Oh, well. She told him he would have to file again and he skipped out merrily to immediately get on the petition line again. So I guess I will await the petition's return. In the meantime, the arrears will only get bigger. I don't know why he just won't take out a business loan to pay it or borrow money from one of his rich friends. Surely he has real friends, right?

I was surprised to learn that his passport has been revoked due to the huge amount of child support he owes. You know what he told the Domestic Relations Unit to try and get it back? He said that he needed to go to MOSCOW to have SURGERY! He gave them another one of his fabricated pieces of proof - a letter in all Russian. I guess the letter was from his Ukrainian brain surgeon. LOL!!! They told him, NO! I asked him about his surgery several times when I saw him. He just stared at me and didn't answer. LOL!!!

This man still stresses me out. I thought escaping would put an end to the misery he has caused me all these years. But he's like herpes. A effed up mess that you're stuck with for life because you gave somebody some a$$.  
I dream I was Jeannie - a bob of the head and *poof!*

I have been going through a lot lately because of him and what he's doing and not doing. It's been starting to get me down and I have been crying lately. But today I remembered something Joyce Meyer said, "Don't panic. This is only a test." I have to keep in mind that God has BIG plans for my life. I don't know what they are, but I sense them. So the enemy is fighting hard to take me down before I get there. He wants me to give up. He wants me to throw in the towel, curse God and die. 

But you know what? No matter how much it hurts, no matter how hard I cry, I will NEVER give up. Why? Because I can't. I've never been a quitter. I'm a survivor. I'm an overcomer. I am a daughter of the King. Another reason is, I'm simply curious. I want to know what's at the end waiting for me. I want to see what's over the rainbow. I also can't give the enemy the satisfaction of breaking me.

So I gotta keep going. I have to show my kids how to do this life thing. I gotta show them how to win even when it feels like you're losing. I gotta teach them how to believe God for themselves. And they're seeing it, they're learning. They may see me cry, but they see me dry my face and they see me go on and push through every day. They see me dead tired, but they don't see me lay down and they won't ever, ever see me give up!!!