OK. So tomorrow I have to go to court in NY again for the support hearing. I do so hate these trips to NY and this should be the last one. I know I haven't talked about the outcome of last Thursday's trial yet. I want to be able to tell it right, and unfortunately every day since then has been hectic with things that needed to get done. On top of that, I have 4 kids remember? Whew!
Tomorrow's date with the judge should be brief, no trial or lawyers or anything like that. Then again the last time we were in court for the support issue, my husband who considers himself to always be the smartest person in the room, told the judge he would need to get a lawyer to understand what she told him to do. So he may have one, I won't.
What did she tell him to do? Well I'm glad you asked.
My husband is supposed to be self employed, which for most unsuccessful black "businessmen," means they're hustling. So she told him to bring in his business records, so she can determine his income. Sounds simple enough right? Well he acted like he had never heard of business records before and that he would need to retain counsel for this very complex matter.
Okay. So in order to pay his children and his wife as little as possible, he's going to PAY someone else, to represent him at a support hearing. Real nice guy right?
This will be our fourth time in court for this. I filed for spousal and child support in April, as my husband hadn't given me a single penny towards the support of his children, since January of this year.
The first court date was June 1st. My husband had it adjourned. The second court date was June 19th. He showed up with a letter from an accountant stating that he only made $25,000 a year. The judge told him that was unacceptable as proof of income and to come back with financial statements from his company.
The third date was July 22nd. This time he shows up with an un-filed tax return. The judge was clearly angered at this and told him that she said he was to bring business records of income and expenses. He claims he was confused and didn't know what she meant and would need an attorney. So tomorrow will be the fourth and hopefully final time that we have to go to court for this. Maybe he finally got his lies and falsified papers straight.
Like most men who have to pay child or spousal support, he is lying about his income so that he can pay the least amount possible. Why do men do that?
In any event, for him it is easy to lie because he gets paid in cash and he doesn't put his money in the bank. He puts his money in socks and other secret hiding places. His true income was even kept from me. He would book these music acts to perform at a private club in Moscow and for every trip he told me he got $5,000.
The very first group he sent was some no name act that performs in some Argentinian restaurant in the city. For that trip he got $10,000. From then on he told me it was $5K or some vague amount, not giving me a clear answer. He even took Boyz II Men, and told me it was a mere $5,000. I most definitely didn't believe that. But I was used to being in the dark and learned long ago not to question him too much about things, it could get me into trouble.
I learned to say, "OK," to basically everything he said to me and just left it at that. Whatever was really going on, I left to God. I tried not to think about what I didn't know about what he was really doing. Like the time he went to Amsterdam without telling me and spent a day or more in the Red Light district, doing drugs and looking at and probably doing prostitutes. But I'll save that story for another time.
In any event, whatever lies he plans to tell the judge when we go into court doesn't matter to me anymore. I am at peace with everything now. I know, that I know, that I know, that God is in control of this show. So whether I walk out of there with an order of $3,000 a month or $3.00 a year, it won't change my trust in God.
My husband is not my source for anything. He's not my source for security, for peace, for finances or for love. He's just another human being on the planet. He can't control anything about my life anymore. He no longer controls where I go, what I do, what I eat, who my friends are, what I wear, or whether or not I'll have a good day. He won't contol how well the children & I will do. We'll be fine with or without his money.
I have put the lives of me and my children in my Father's hands and I trust Him completely. Whatever happens in court, it is exactly what He has determined that we need based on how He intends to supply. And I will be happy when I walk out of that courtroom tomorrow no matter what, because I'm free.
He can go ahead and fool the judge if he wants to, but he ain't fooling me. If he wants to lie, that's between him and God. God sees all and knows all. If it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy knowing that he's doing as little for his family as he can possibly get away with, then it's all good. It doesn't bother me, we will still survive and we will thrive.
All I have to know is that even if my husband has wicked thoughts toward us and cares nothing about what happens to us in the present or the future, God has good thoughts toward us. He said, "For I know the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future with hope." (Jeremiah 29.11)
As long as God has my back and I follow the plans He's made for my future, then my kids and I will be OK. Actually, we'll be better than OK, we'll be blessed.
